The Conversation You're Not Having With Yourself

Read time: 3 minutes

Last week, a client came to our session looking frustrated.

"I've tried everything," she said.

I asked her a question that changed everything:

She went quiet for a good thirty seconds.

Then tears filled her eyes as she whispered:

In that moment, everything shifted.

Not because she found a new productivity hack.

But because she finally had the conversation she'd been avoiding for so long.

The one buried beneath all her "should's" and "have to's."

The truth is—we all have these conversations we're not having.

With ourselves. With our partners. With our work.

And these avoided dialogues are costing us everything:

Our energy. Our authenticity. Our power. Our peace.

Because the most dangerous conversation isn't the difficult one.

It's the one you pretend doesn't need to happen.

Think about it:

You know when something isn't working.

You feel when you're out of alignment.

You sense when you're living someone else's version of success.

But instead of having that honest conversation with yourself, what do you do?

• You download another app.

• You blame circumstances.

• You set yet another goal.

• You distract yourself.

• You push harder.

All to avoid looking at what's really going on.

But here's what I've observed after working with hundreds of high performers:

Your next level of growth isn't hiding in what you don't know.

It's hiding in what you do know but aren't willing to admit.

It's in the truth you've been avoiding. The conversation you've been postponing.

Another client—a successful entrepreneur—was constantly exhausted despite having optimized every aspect of his schedule.

When I asked him what conversation he wasn't having with himself, he finally admitted:

That honest conversation—though painful—created the space for something new to emerge.

Not a different scheduling system. Not a better supplement regimen. Not another business strategy.

But the freedom to realign with what actually mattered to him.

So, my friend, I'm wondering:

What conversation are you not having with yourself?

Maybe it's about:

• That relationship that no longer feels right

• The career path you chose for security rather than fulfillment

• The dreams you've shelved because they don't fit your current identity

• The standards you've lowered because asking for what you want feels too vulnerable

• The ways you're still trying to prove something to someone who isn't even watching

These conversations feel dangerous because they threaten the status quo.

They might require you to disappoint others. To admit you've changed your mind. To acknowledge you've outgrown something. To face uncertainty.

But here's what I know for sure:

The energy it takes to avoid these conversations is far greater than the energy it takes to have them.

Because avoidance doesn't just cost time.

It costs Life force.

So here's a simple practice I'd like to offer you:

Recently, I did this exercise myself.

I realized I'd been avoiding a conversation about how I'd outgrown certain relationships that once defined me.

It wasn't comfortable to admit.

But the moment I did, I felt a surge of energy that had been locked up in avoiding that truth.

Because that's the thing about these conversations:

The short-term discomfort of having them creates the long-term freedom of living in alignment.

And isn't that the ultimate goal?

Not to have a perfect Life. But to have an honest one.

A Life where your outside matches your inside.

Where your actions align with your truth.

Where you're no longer exhausting yourself by maintaining the gap between who you are and who you're pretending to be.

So, what conversation aren't you having with yourself?

Whatever it is—that's where your freedom is waiting.

That's where your energy is trapped.

That's where your next breakthrough lives.

Have the conversation.

It's time.

Thanks for reading!

Much Love,

Julian