The 1,000 No's Experiment

Read time: 3.5 minutes

I’ve been sitting with something this week.

The difference between hesitating... and changing the rules of the game entirely.

See, for most of my life, I treated hesitation like a flaw to fix. Something I needed to “overcome” by Being braver, faster, louder.

But lately, I’m seeing it differently.

Maybe hesitation isn’t the problem.

Maybe it’s just showing me the rule I’ve been unconsciously playing by.

And the rule for most of us sounds something like:

We measure our worth, our momentum, our courage, by how many people said yes— yes to the offer, yes to the program, yes to the date, yes to the idea.

We’ve built an entire identity around collecting yes’s and avoiding no’s.

But what if the point of the game was the opposite?

What if the goal was to get the no?

A few weeks ago, I launched a free group program.

No price tag. But high commitment.

It wasn’t about building a list or selling a backend offer. It was just about BEing pure service.

And without forcing it—it filled up.

I initially capped it at 20. We ended up landing at 27.

No ads, no scripts, no strategy. Just energy.

At first, I told myself it was because people could feel the integrity behind it. But then I realized something deeper:

I wasn’t afraid of rejection—because there was nothing to lose.

Throughout the enrollment process, I wasn’t seeking a yes—I was simply playing the game.

There was no rule about how it needed to go.

And because of that, I leaned in completely.

• No hesitation.

• No second-guessing.

• No buffering or softening the ask.

And I thought—what if I could bring that same posture into everything?

Not just into free programs or safe invitations, but into the conversations that feel charged— the ones where a “no” would sting, the ones that threaten ego or expose insecurity.

What if I changed the rules altogether?

Here’s what that new rule might sound like:

Not as punishment. Not as self-sabotage. But as a training ground for freedom.

Because if the goal is to get the no— then you’re free to ask. You’re free to risk. You’re free to offer without gripping for outcome.

Suddenly, every “no” becomes evidence that you played.

That you leaned in. That you stayed in motion.

It’s the same muscle that rejection teaches, but without the drama of rejection.

Because there’s no rejection when the no is the game.

And I wonder—what would shift for you if you started living that way?

If you rewired your nervous system to celebrate a no?

If, instead of flinching when the door closed, you smiled—because that was the point.

That was proof you were alive!

What if every no meant: 

• You’re asking bigger.

• You’re stretching farther.

• You’re daring to make contact with Life again.

When I test this in my own world, here’s what changes:

• I stop shrinking my invitations into something digestible.

• I stop writing paragraphs to justify my asks.

• I stop trying to pre‑qualify who’s “ready.”

I lean in. I make the call. I ask. I send. I follow up. And if the answer is no, I count it.

Not as a loss—as progress!!

Because progress isn’t collecting yes’s. Progress is collecting truth.

And every time you ask with clarity, you receive truth—whatever shape it takes.

That’s how you expand your capacity to hold both yes and no.

That’s how you stop negotiating with your own potential.

That’s how you start living beyond hesitation.

So today, my friends, if you're open to it — here’s a thought experiment for you:

What if you made “ten no’s” your goal this week?

Ten invitations. Ten asks. Ten opportunities where you might be told no.

Byron Katie once said:

And most folks won’t even ask five.

What would change for you if no wasn’t a failure—but a tally mark on your path to mastery?

What would shift about your posture?

About your energy?

About how free you feel when you ask?

Because when the no’s are the goal, you stop playing for approval— and you start playing for aliveness.

That’s where momentum lives.

That’s where courage compounds.

That’s where clarity arrives.

We’ve been taught to build our lives around avoiding the sting of rejection.

But maybe the sting was never the problem.

Maybe it was the doorway.

And maybe freedom isn’t in the yes’s you collect—

But in how unafraid you become to ask at all.

Just as a possibility...

Cheers!

Much Love,

Julian

PS. If you’re up for a challenge this week, try this: Set your own No Goal. Write it on a sticky note. Keep count. And watch what shifts when “no” becomes your invitation to play.