Expectations vs. Agreements

Read time: 2.5 minutes

You ever feel let down by someone…

…but you never actually told them what you needed?

Yeah. We’ve all done it.

We assume. We expect. We think, “They should’ve known.”

But here’s the thing:

Most of us are walking around with unspoken expectations—in Life, in work, in relationships.

What we could be doing instead?

The answer is simple:

Setting & creating agreements.

And I'm not referring to contracts. Not terms and conditions.

But real, human agreements—the kind that shape every relationship in your Life.

Here’s what I mean:

You make plans to meet a friend for coffee on Sunday at 10 AM.

That’s an agreement.

But let’s say Saturday night, you fall sick. Or something unavoidable comes up.

You text your friend, right? You reschedule. You explain. You create a new agreement.

Because if you don’t—and they show up, and you don’t?

That’s not just a scheduling conflict. That’s a relationship rupture.

Because this is how true social human connection works.

This is evident across the board.

In friendships, teams, families, partnerships, and yes—business too.

Agreements are the foundation of functional relationships.

Not just because they set expectations—but because they give us a way to repair, recalibrate, and recommit when things shift.

That’s what makes them powerful:

Agreements are co-created. Living. Ever-Evolving.

See, when we rely on expectations, we assume things.

We don’t say them out loud. We think people “should just know.”

And when reality doesn’t match our expectation?

We blame. We shame. We silently resent.

But with agreements, it’s different.

Agreements are clear. They’re spoken. They’re mutual. They’re intentional.

And most importantly?

When an agreement gets broken or needs adjusting, it becomes a cue for a new conversation—not a moment for blame.

This shift changed the way I run my business.

With my coaching clients. With my collaborators and teammates.

Even with my friends and family!

When we start with agreements—what we’re each committed to, what support looks like, how we’ll handle missteps—everything gets clearer.

And the beauty of agreements?

They hold people without holding them hostage.

They create freedom through structure.

They give you something to point to that isn’t a judgment. It’s just a shared understanding.

And when that’s missing?

That’s when things fall through the cracks.

Not because people are “bad” communicators. But because there was never an agreement to begin with.

Of course, this isn’t just about others.

It’s also about the promises you make to yourself.

Most people rely on motivation to get things done. But motivation is inconsistent. It's moody.

Self-agreements, though? They build identity. They shape integrity.

When you tell yourself:

• “I agree to spend 10 minutes meditating each morning.”

• “I agree to show up fully present to every client call.”

• “I agree to keep my phone away after 8 PM.”

That’s not a wish. That’s not a hope. That’s not a “should.”

That’s you declaring the kind of relationship you want to have with yourself.

And if you miss a day?

That’s not failure. That’s a cue for a new agreement.

So if you're open to it—here's a possibility for you:

Ask yourself...

And remember—agreements aren’t static.

They move as you do. They evolve as your relationships evolve.

But one thing stays true:

Agreements build trust. Expectations break it.

Happy Saturday!

Much love,

Julian